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From: Robert LaPointe Subject: Look/Act Younger with the Preschooler Diet Date: 6/14/2004 Some one sent me this and I decided to pass it along: So you've tried everything and you're still overweight. Don't despair. Help is finally here - the amazing new Preschooler Diet! Remember how slim you were and the boundless energy you had as a 3 year old? All your baby fat was gone, your skin was smooth, and your head was full of shiny hair and gum. The key to recapturing that ideal body type is to once again eat, and behave, like a preschooler! It works like this: for breakfast, you have a small Barney-bowl full of Cheerios with 2% milk, four banana slices on the side and a sippy cup of orange jiuce. Using a spoon with a rubber handle, eat half the cereal, and dribble the rest of it onto your shirt. Take two big sips of jiuce, try to gargle with it. Mash the banana slices into the table with your fingers. By the way, if you're interested in a more adult oriented diet, visit http://www.mindbodybreakthroughs.com/products/bigbook.htm My ebook has a complete program of exercise and nutrition guaranteed to slim, tone and energize. Onward. Lunch is a Bob-the-Builder bowl of Spaghetti-Os (fortified with calcium) and eight green beans and a cup of milk with a straw. Eschewing your spoon with a red rubber handle, eat the Spaghetti-Os with your hands. Wipe excess sauce onto your pants. Make bubbles in your milk. Eat 2 1/2 green beans and then try to force the rest into the straw. Blow with all your might into the bean stuffed straw. Your midafternoon snack can be any two ofthe following: Goldfish crackers, raisins, grapes (cut into eighths to avoid choking), string cheese or apple slices. Eat crackers, raisins and grapes by tossing hhandlfuls of them into the air and seiing how many you can catch in your mouth. Grind the rest into the carpet. Dinner consists of macaroni and cheese, peas, applesauce, and milk. Refuse to eat your macaroni and cheese. Pour milk over peas, mix with applesauce. The key to this diet is that most of the food ends up on the floor. Also, you'll have to exercise like a preschooler. That includes riding your trike in the driveway, jumping on the couch, pretending everything is a sword, and crying. After just a few weeks on this diet, you'll be as slim, energetic and emotionally unpredictable as your were during those carefree days so long ago. Take care, no potty talk at the dinner table, and train like you mean it.
Rob LaPointe |
