Sogo Kakutougi

Ask the Evil One!
Date: Wed, 12 Jan 2005 11:17:26 -0500

Announcement – The first shipment of the “Automatic Self-Defense” DVDs went out this morning.  The set includes 2 DVDs on fighting strategy, getting physically fit for the street, dealing with larger opponents, multiple opponents, grapplers and ground tactics, “point of origin” striking, controls and takedowns, pressure points, mindsetting, how not to freeze, and plenty more.  Plus you get 2 Bonus Chinese Joint Control videos.  As I mentioned, the program teaches you everything – and I mean everything – you need to know and do to survive anything from a bully to a workplace mass shooting.

I don’t care how slick your techniques are, if you haven’t been taught “mindsetting” so your decisions are made in advance, you’re not as ready as you think, and if you don't believe you can do serious damage fast to anybody who puts a hand on you you're not ready at all.

This product isn’t on my website yet, so if you want to order, you can do so by phone at 800-920-9746.  Or you can send a money order to 2526 Columbia Pike Arlington, Virginia 22204.  The pre-sale offer has expired.  Automatic Self-Defense is now at regular price - $127.00 plus $6.00 ($133.00).

Onward.

I received a question by email and I’ve decided to let someone else answer it for me. As promised, this week’s newsletter is written by our old friend and occasional guest columnist, he whose contributions to fitness and martial arts are unspeakable . . . The Evil One.

Dear Evil One,

I’ve had a hard time finding a training partner who works out.  Either they think I’m a punching bag, or they don’t show up, or we can’t agree on a routine.  Is it me or is it them?

Lonely in Toledo

Dear Lonely, Them, them, you.

Does that answer your question? No?  Okay, let me break it down for you.

The first partner thinks you’re a punching bag.  This guy isn’t a partner.  He’s a bully.  He’s not there to workout, he’s there to prove himself . . . at your expense.  Every bully is a coward at heart and this guy’s no exception.  He wants to smack someone around, but doing it in a bar is a little risky so he does it in a “friendly” setting where he can always put the breaks on if he starts to lose. The only thing this type of partner is good for is toughening you up, but he’s not even much good for that since, like I said, he’ll bail as soon as you get the upper hand.

His fault, not yours.

Next type – the No Show.  In my book, the lowest form of human scum.  People who don’t keep appoints and don’t bother to call – either before or after – think they’re precious.  It’s okay if they don’t show up, and keep others waiting because, after all, it’s their world. We’re just living in it!

In the Old Country we would go to the No Show’s house at night with pitchforks and torches.  The whole village would turn out.  It could become quite festive.

Granted, there are times and reasons a person can’t keep a commitment, and yes, maybe they did try to call so give ‘em a break.  But if they make a habit of it a dip in hot oil will fix that right away.

In this case it was probably them, not you. The last one is tricky.  You say “we” couldn’t agree on a routine.  Hmmm.  Were you working out with your girlfriend?  Because if you were, you can forget that “we” thing.

Dude, there’s nothing to agree on.

Just shut up and do what she says. You’ll get a workout so what are you whining about? Plus, she showed up, and as long as you don’t make any errors of either commission or omission – or look like you might, or might have in the past, or may at some point in the future, she probably won’t beat you up.

This one was definitely you.

Good luck, work out ‘till you cough up a hairball,

The Evil One

Well, that’s all for the Evil One.  Until next time, train like you mean it!

Best regards to all of you,

Rob LaPointe