Bullying Survey

Date: Fri, 12 May 2006

I meant to send a newsletter Wednesday, but I did an event for the State Department and that pretty much hammered my scheduled.  Spring is a busy time for me.  I'm booked for Health Fairs and/or demonstrations at Dept's of State, Army, Energy, and a D.C. law firm.

Being out so much means my in box tends to stack up.

Anyway, this is my topic:  my children attend an excellent public school here in Arlington, VA and the school hosts periodic morning clinics on various issues - substance abuse, adolescence, bullying, etc.  My wife and I try to attend.   About bullying though . . . the class was okay, but I disagreed with their advice to "never fight back, verbally or physically."  That advice really ticked me off, and I almost threw a chair at the speaker.

Just kidding.

Actually, I did raise my hand and question it.  Unfortunately, (?) I was wearing warm up pants, ref's shoes, and a polo shirt with my school logo on it, and I mentioned that I own a martial arts school.  Everyone there (I was the only Dad) looked at me like I was some sort of Troglodyte. I'm sure my wife was quite proud.  Um, yeah . . .

Still, I stand by my position.  There's more to life than not having to go to the Principal's office, and not everything that happens is in the rule book.  Bullies are coward's and we find them in every life situation - school, office, neighborhood.

Standing up to them involves risk and takes courage.  And builds character.  That may sound old fashioned, but it's true.  Children learn more about themselves by standing their ground, than by "actualizing societally endorsed patterns of psycho-emotional self-empowerment," or whatever the guidance counselors are advising these days.

If the School system gives advice based on liability concerns, fair enough.  But they should say so.  Preaching non-violence to avoid lawsuits, but justifying it as "emotionally healthy" is not exactly on the level.  After all, since when is taking crap from a cowardly bully emotionally healthy?

I, and other parents I know, have told our children that if push comes to shove . . . then they may just be in for some pushing and shoving, and they should hold their own.

The result for my wife and I, at least so far, is two great kids who get along fine with the right crowd, and are avoided by the wrong crowd.

I'm sure I'm not the only parent who's hearing this stuff from the School system. What are your thoughts on the subject?  Are you a parent?  A recent high school graduate?  A fifty year old with a  passive-aggressive neighbor?

Bullying is bullying, and we've all got an opinion on it.   Let me hear from you.

Take care, train like you mean it.

Rob LaPointe